Nic Notes

If not for the joy...

I'm throwing some really unhealthy karma into the universe. Really unhealthy. I'm damn near giddy that Star Jones has been fired.

Never should someone find as much joy in someone else's misery as I am finding with Star Jones. I love it. Love it. I can't contain myself. The poor girl who works with me, yesterday, I think I blurted it out five separate times that I'm just THRILLED.

Why? I can't put my finger on it.

I don't know Star Jones, and have no intention of meeting Star Jones because I'd probably shove a Twinkie up her nose or run and scream in horror.

Maybe it's because not only is she not funny, she has no sense of humor.

Maybe it's because she's not interesting.

Or maybe it's because she finds herself extremely interesting.*

Or, quite possibly it's because she's useless, with no personality, no sense of humor and she's not all that nice. Yes, that's it.

Maybe because this is kind of like Karma bitch-slapping some sense into her.

And now I'm a little afraid of Karma bitch-slapping me.**

*She who blogs shall not throw stones. Shoot.

** But I've said nice things about Britney Spears!

Quick notes about today

Tonight in cooking class we made:

• Crepes with asparagus and porcini mushrooms in a Bechamel sauce (divine!)
• French sausage ragout
• Broccoli with butter and breadcrumbs
• Chocolate souffle with cappuccino ice cream

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I'm going to rip out my Clapotis. Not because I screwed it up, but because I just didn't like the way it looked and it's way too much work to not like it.

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Packing for the new house is progressing splendidly, though I may have to institutionalize my father. I have discovered four separate apparatuses to be used for poaching eggs. Two for the microwave. Because it's already not easy enough to do it on the stove.

And the jerk threw out my Domino Rally set. It was the Super Deluxe Neon Edition. I was Super Cool! Yeah, dude.

And he can't find my Teddy Ruxpin, though we did find the books, no one has seen Teddy. I loved Teddy Ruxpin more than any other toy in the whole wide world. Now we can't find him. And Grubby, his plug in yellow friend who used to talk too when he was involved in the story. I haven't screamed about my Teddy Ruxpin in years, let alone in my sub-human-Jack-McFarland-inaudible-to-humans scream of "Where is my Teddy Ruxpin?! I want my Teddy Ruxpin."

He's probably in the attic. He ranks much higher on my "Save for my children" list than my Pleasant Company doll (now known as American Girl).

My friends, I will survive. Teddy is coming back. I must fight the urge to spawn right now so my children can know the joys of Teddy Ruxpin.

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When one of the members of your group of girlfriends sends an e-mail to the lot of you asking "Will you be my porn buddies? If dh and I die, will you clean out our room?  Promise?" You can't say no. It's a code between girlfriends. Because, dear God, you hope they'd do the same for you. And because, dear God, you hope one of your parents' friends does it for them so your own sex life is not permanently destroyed.

She tripped, dammit!

I dislike Britney Spears a great deal. But what do I hate? Feeling sorry for Ms. Spears.

Now, I have little tolerance for the fact that Sean Preston was not rear-facing in his car seat, but I do  understand how easy it is for a person to overlook that information if they're not accustomed to regular reading. But I look at it as a step-up from where she was a couple of months ago.

I understand how easy it is for a child to fall out of a highchair. In a stunning example of my parents' Madd Skillz, I toppled down some stairs, I believe, in a baby walker. And these are the same people who, upon discovering that a thumbtack was missing, had me x-rayed even though I was no where in the area.

But what I have no tolerance for is that she tripped. I mean, people. PEOPLE. She tripped. What kind of graceless, trashy loon can't hold herself up in a vertical position long enough to walk? What kind of person can't keep their feet properly aligned with their shoes? Of course the worldwide media should report on this issue. Of course! It's a major issue in our world today, the sheer negligence and abuse must stop. WHAT KIND OF PERSON DOES THIS!?

Me.

Good GOD. The woman tripped. This is not a sign of negligent parenting. It's simply being human. No more, no less, just human. There is no parent in the world who does everything perfectly. They will, at some point screw something up. She tripped! I bet most people would be mortified if there were cameras literally watching their every move. At one point, they'll let the baby sit in a messy diaper too long and give him diaper rash, I bet, they'll even once forget to buckle the car seat into the seat. Or maybe they'll heat the bottle or bathwater just a tad too much. Or maybe they'll trip over a baby they put at the other side of the room on the floor because he doesn't know how to crawl and then suddenly, he does!

This child is not being beaten, he's not being starved, and he certainly doesn't have a lack of attention. Yeah, she's made some parenting mistakes. Things happen. Thankfully he wasn't hurt. No one is perfect (have you see that baby's daddy?! ***gag***) But people sure have great aim with the stones they throw. The woman tripped. She was holding a glass of water, walking and she tripped. That's not a mistake. That's something we all do. In fact, I'm sure I've even done it today. And now, poor Britney cried over the incident and people are still mocking and criticizing her for tripping? I do want to give her a hug. And I don't like that feeling.