Nic Notes

Oh Ina Garten, how I love thee!

Dear Ina Garten,
In cooking class tonight I was unable to resist your new Barefoot Contessa Pantry. I shall now shake my fist in the air and curse your name for I am on Weight Watchers. WEIGHT WATCHERS. Watching my weight, my calories, fat grams and fiber. How could you do this to me? Why? WHY?!

I had no choice, I could not resist. I'm afraid that I am a food whore. Your food whore, actually.

They had samples. They were the death of me.

I bought lemon curd. I have no reasonable need for lemon curd. I eat egg whites on high-fiber English Muffins every morning. And now I have lemon curd. High calorie lemon curd with zero nutritional, well, anything.

But that's not all, I also have mixed berry preserves which are fine and dandy because I can easily work those in on the program.

Your Indonesian Ginger Marinade is fantastic as well, so I bought it. That was actually an act of self-preservation. While I usually do the cooking, there are nights when I work late (and we're talking about the ones where I'm able to be home for dinner, not the middle of the night ones) and I live with a person who believes a plain piece of baked chicken breast served with plain rice is a dandy meal, though he usually does better than that, sometimes not. I can't complain though. He doesn't bitch about my cooking (because it's AMAZING!).

But back to you, Ina Garten. Back to you and the way you scheme to pack the weight right onto my body that I'm trying to lose. You know what I'm talking about, your grand scheme to control the world through a subversive food product: Coconut Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Icing.

My fat ass is not going to be able to sleep tonight because I'm going to be thinking about those damn cupcakes.

And let us discuss the cost. I paid six bucks for jelly. I'm obviously an irresponsible food whore and you have taken advantage of me. And now you're controlling my mind with the thoughts of the damn cupcakes. Coconut cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. For ten dollars. For a cupcake mix!

But HA! I got you. I did not purchase the magical cupcake mix because I know that once I do I will never be able to go back. I will eat your cupcakes with joy and passion and love and purely piggish manners. And then my fat ass will curse you. I know once I eat those cupcakes I will never be able to experience real love with a human being because I will have found it in a food. DAMN YOU INA GARTEN!

Love,
Nic

I had to look for something today

I got on the computer today because I had to search for something to get a good price and buy it.

Hours later, I can't remember what I was looking for. But the good news is that I've found plenty of other things to hold my interest.

Now, when I first saw the jewel ice cubes I had to have them because how freaking cute are they?

But then I decided that they're no different than broken ice cubes.

Then I found the mooning and squatting gnomes and determined that they're the perfect Christmas gifts for my aunt.

Of course, the undies rug (or in my family, the heinies rug) is perfect for my friend Ramona.

I was completely perplexed by this, even though I do love bananas.

But in the end, I've decided that I should make my morning toast a little bit more meaningful with this.